Coronavirus: Due to the current situation, events may be cancelled at short notice and businesses may temporarily close. Check with the venue before planning to attend. More information on coronavirus.

Comedy Festival: A typical day for a comedian by Anne Edmonds

Hmmm… a typical day for a comedian… during the Melbourne International Comedy Festival the daytime becomes a bit weird. It’s all about sleep maximisation. Often I get home from the festival at midnight or later. This is either because I’ve been watching another show or, more likely, over in the Festival Club talking about my insecurities ad nauseam to any comedian who will listen.
Still, like a bloody battler, I drag myself out of bed every morning at a reasonable hour (10.30am) and get the day underway. All day long though, there is one question on repeat in my mind: ‘When am I going to nap?’. I structure my whole day around my afternoon nap and sometimes, if I’m really tired, I have to write it out:
10.30am: Have breakfast
11.30am: Stare at wall
12.30pm: Call another comedian re: insecurities and quitting comedy
1.30pm: Drop in on mum and dad re: food
2.30pm: NAP
6pm: Get on tram to show

My dog Keith understands the importance of napping

The worst is when the day doesn’t pan out as you expect. The other day I got caught up at the shops buying cabbages for my show (I have to refresh my cabbages every two days. It’s an annoyance I didn’t foresee when I named the show ‘The Quarter Cabbage’). The traffic was bad, the shops were busy and everything was taking double the time it should. It was 3.30pm when I arrived and then somehow it was 4.30pm at the checkout. When I finally got to the car I knew that the naptime window had closed. I was devastated. I threw the cabbages down on the ground and slid down the side of the car, crying out in pain. Nah, I didn’t. But I wanted to.
Anne Edmonds’ new show, The Quarter Cabbage is on at Melbourne Town Hall, 120 Swanston Street until 21 April.